How to be really, really strong
"Brainy What-Why-How"
Your weekly nibble of science-backed goodness to help you move better and feel unstoppable.
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What:
Have you noticed that the process of getting stronger makes you feel weak?
And the things that make you smarter often make you feel stupid while you’re learning them?
Building confidence? Usually requires spending long stretches feeling deeply unsure of yourself.
Learning a new physical skill.
Trying to grow emotionally.
Trying to understand literally anything about the world right now…
I could go on.
Growth is basically a long series of moments where you think, “Wow. I’m terrible at this.”
Which, inconveniently, is often the exact sign that you’re doing it right.
Why:
This is simply because our brains are wired to be energy efficient. Translation: keep running the same programming.
Plus, early learning stages activate error detection systems in the brain. (Hello cerebellum, centre for learning through mistakes!)
You're SUPPOSED to notice mistakes more frequently. That's how refinement happens. But it can feel awful.
And on top of that, let's not brush over the fact that we are swimming in cultural waters that praise looking strong, certain, and dominant at all times. Yes, your social media bubble might include real humans being vulnerable. You--you marvellous human--are no doubt living with authenticity that Brené Brown would be proud of.
But...zoom out....the people holding the most power....😒
Notice a pattern?
These "strongman" types present strength as never struggling. They never show themselves learning, they never apologise, they're bullies that pick on everyone with less power than them.
Because actual strength requires tolerating feeling weak sometimes. And that's far less photogenic.
Personally, I have zero interest in becoming the kind of person who needs to avoid difficulty just to maintain the illusion of competence. That kind of strength is basically emotional dry pasta — rigid, fragile, and one splash of boiling water away from collapse. 🍝
How:
So how do we stop this paradox from convincing us to shrink ourselves in a world where plenty of wildly under-qualified nepobabies--with the emotional intelligence of a toddler who refuses to share his toys--somehow fail upwards into positions of enormous influence?
📣 How do we stay loud, bold, and visible as actual good humans doing meaningful work?
1️⃣ Reframe the sensation
"Ugh I'm so weak" "Wow I feel stupid" "I have no idea what I'm doing"
-- nah babe 🙂↔️ From now on, it's: "I'm growing!"
2️⃣ Expect the dip
Go ahead and expect your progress NOT to be linear. Recognise it as part of the architecture of learning; not a sign that you're on the wrong path.
(If you haven’t seen it before, Google the Dunning-Kruger Effect and look at the graph. Then try to tell me that isn’t both humbling and wildly motivating at the same time.)
3️⃣ Practice public imperfection
I did this with Handstand Club -- I threw myself into teaching a new format, knowing I'd be far from perfect. I'm so glad I did, because it went OVERALL well, and I'm taking the things I learned and the feedback to do the next one....
Handstand Club 2.0 - Splits and Straddles
🤸🏽♂️25 Feb - 4 Apr - 2 days per week 🤸🏽♂️
Click here for info and use "EARLYBIRD" for a discount!
4️⃣ Choose playground strength over performance strength*
Performance strength says:
“I am an ADULT. In the SPOTLIGHT. I must appear perfectly polished and emotionally impenetrable at all times.”
Exhausting. Unsustainable. Rooted almost entirely in fear.
Playground strength says:
“My inner child is alive and thriving and I’m going to try this thing and see what happens.”
Playground strength is curious. It experiments. Falls over. Tries again.
Playground strength has staying power because it isn’t built on pretending to have it all figured out.
Keep growing, in a way that looks at growth like wandering through a landscape where you occasionally lose your footing, get muddy, get lost, and slowly develop better balance,
Adell 😘
*This is my little explanation that comes from combining a few psychology theories such as Achievement Goal Theory (performance oriented goals vs mastery orientation goals), Carol Dweck's Fixed vs Growth Mindset, and Self Determination Theory, as well as a bit of play research and anti-fragility theory. God human psychology is endlessly fascinating! 🤓
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